“The key skill of effective teams, team mates, parents and loved ones is the capacity to skilfully address emotionally and politically risky issues”. Such is the claim from the authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler of the book Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high (McGraw-Hill, 2012). Although an older book, I feel this is a timeless work that needs to be exposed to the next generation of leaders.
Crucial conversations are defined “as discussion between 2 or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong. We have three choices in how to handle this – avoid it, face it but handle it poorly, or face it and handle it well. This book gives the tools to be able to handle them well.
The authors have many years of work as consultants and trainers who have authored a number of best selling books. The book builds on over 20 years and 100,000 interviews helping people handle the crucial conversation. It is very convincing as they put into simple terms tools appear workable and achievable.
It is a really well organized book that provides a guide to being able to handle the crucial conversation and translate it into action and results. It fearlessly addresses issues like:
- The use of dialogue
- Staying focussed
- Knowing when lines are getting crossed
- Creating safe spaces
- Dealing with when you are angry, scared or hurt
- Listening well
I like that is does not shy away from the tough stuff and addresses a number of highly charged situations like sexual or other harassment, insubordination, and sensitive personal issues (like personal hygiene!).
While this blog goes to a predominately business audience, the book gives the tools for anyone to handle crucial conversations no matter their context.
It is very worthwhile and came to me highly recommended by many people. And I in turn would like to recommend it to you.